PTSD has been spiraling out of control. I want to live, and I’m fighting so hard. Still, I’m backed into a corner and overwhelmed beyond belief. My mind is cracking. The last place I want to be is IP. It will only make me feel more trapped and traumatised. With my current presentation I fear my T will want me IP as I’m losing control. He is a good guy and will only want me safe but IP may make things worse. I see him Wednesday. I’m in trouble and he will see it. I will try to play things down but he knows me so well. Everything is falling apart. I don’t know what to do. It is possible I’m about to psychologically snap any minute and then anything could happen. I can’t find the way out which terrifies me. So much going on that I can’t tell. This is impossible.