I have really not been feeling well. I've been dealing with major anxiety and depressive symptoms. This whole morning and early afternoon, that's what my body gives me. It feels very physical. The anxiety is new. It's very weird.

I had a messy med change March - June, and I was in hell for a while. So my doctor took me off it. While this isn't any better really, It's not consistently like this. Last night I felt ok. Good, even.

I do think I need something to do with my days. What, though, you've got me on that. Beats me. I'd work if I knew what I wanted to do and if the idea didn't terrify me. That's kind of what I give up on right now. Trying to figure out my life. Yes, I want to get off of disability. But I don't have all the pieces there yet.

Also when I'm feeling so ******, all I want to do is....not do things, not go out, etc.

I am seeing my psychiatrist on the 11th of this month. I'm SO excited. That is not sarcasm lol. I think I can wait. But being in pain like this really sucks.