I understand what you mean, Kane. I'm sure you'll feel better at some point like mote.of.soul. has already wisely said better than I ever could. It will just take time. I'd suggest to see a therapist if you need help to get over your loss. Hopefully that will ease your pain a little bit. Don't give up. Stay strong and stay safe. Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Kane, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!