I am deeply sorry that you're going through SO MUCH, captaineo! You don't deserve to suffer Nobody does. You're such a kind person. I'm so sorry that things are being so hard for you right now I know this isn't easy, but have you thought about perhaps moving to another country? I know that may seem very extremem to you and that you likely can't afford it right now. However, if your situation DOES get stable again, perhaps you may want to consider that. From what you wrote it seems like you don't feel very comfortable around there. Correct me if I'm wrong of course! For now just focus on finding a job. I'm sure you'll be able to land another one. I'm so sorry life is being so hard for you. Hopefully your lawyer will be able to make you see your kids. Even if it takes a little bit of time at the very least you'll be able to see them. I'm not sure if that's allowed but perhaps you can write some letters or e-mails to them? Just a thought. Please hang in there. Your suffering won't last forever. Things can still get better. I'm sure of that. Just try to do your best. That's ALL we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough. We're here for you when you need support. Feel free to PM me anytime. My inbox is always open for you. Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, captaineo, and to ALL the people you love and who love you back!