It's awful when you feel like you 'should' go or you 'have to' go. A few years ago I started to say 'no' more often, just because I wanted to. It is hard at first but the nagging does wind down mostly. Life is so much better without having to dread dinner with a toxic family every week. You don't have to go if you don't want to. You can choose to go because going is easier than not going or because you want to please your family/mother, but you don't *have* to if you don't want to. You can also set limits on how much time you spend if you do go. Or maybe you would rather do a lunch with your mother and father on a weekday, if you enjoy their company but not your siblings? There are other options but they are hard to see when we feel trapped by what people want us to do.

Someone on here recommended the book 'Boundaries' by Cloud and Townsend. It's a great book. It does have a religious element to it, but I am not religious and got a lot out of the book. 'How to say no without feeling guilty' is another book I liked.