Well, it has been a while since I viewed one, but there are Youtube videos that give advice on how to be popular. Most of the suggestions probably don't work (because we would have to feel comfortable with what they are proposing) but I think I recall one that said, it is important to look accessable. Friendly open posture, smile, etc. I do recall that when I was younger, if I felt relaxed and in a good mood--that is when I can connect with people. When we are feeling anxious or depressed, I think it is much harder. I also think it helps to "know" yourself and accept yourself. An example of knowing and accepting would be--I know I can't dance but am willing to dance anyways when I am in an happy, outgoing mood. Sometimes if we are comfortable but not the "best", it can actually make us more approachable if we aren't out there dancing like we think we are the best dancer but we are oh so not. If that makes sense. The connection I had with one of my best hs gfs was all about us laughing at ourselves about things we tried and failed! The thing is, we kept trying and when we figured out it wasn't for us, we tried other things. Our friendship was about doing things together in order to boost each others confidence and even when it didn't work out, it was fun trying new things together/the memories are funny. Also, my gf and I were not part of the popular crowd in hs and I had no self confidence in regards to talking with boys in hs--so funny because many of them that I didn't approach much were as nerdy as we were.

Sometimes being popular is not the way to go (it can be a lot of work, it's hard to study or go to work everyday and party at the same time, or as adults being popular would mean that our calendar would always be full making it harder to sleep in or do other unplanned things):

Everybody Wants You - Billy Squier Lyrics