alexandra, I think you're referring to Kohut theory, which has since been challenged by others.
For me finding and understanding 'intrapsychic structure', of mine and others and how different they are and how they all interelate brought me more understanding than anything I;d ever done before. and believe me I'd been searching a long long time. I dont go along with the DSM, its not about that, its a far deeper and more expereintial thing, DSM is just like described from outside, like pdocs looking at laboratory animals.........ghghg orrible!! what i discovered is different altogether, for me its a bit like an alchoholic saying 'I'm an alcoholic', I say "I've got the 'self in exile disorder'.
also, I believe we can recover.

river