Personally, I think it is fine for you to not like what your family is doing.

Writing my feelings down in a journal helps me sometimes, especially when trying to talk with the people actually involved isn't all that safe.

Maybe you can take a break of sorts from your family and continue to focus on your safety and well being. They may very well try to pull on you and drag you back into all that stuff, but you are doing the right thing by focusing on you.

All the best ((((Jennifer)))