Just google searched hitting myself after a recent episode and groggy aftermath. I greatly appreciate the post and am more relaxed (I guess) to know I'm not alone. I hit myself because I want to die and I hate myself so I do t se the point in taking care of myself at all anymore. It's pretty sad I guess but I don't know any different. I've been hitting myself and pulling my hair since I was a child right where my mother would hit me. I guess I figure I'm not good enough for love so I hit myself just hoping I'll cause some damage and finally get the hell out of here. After I have an episode I am also groggy and my head can't be touched it's always so tender. Not sure what to do anymore so I'm looking into therapists but it's come to my conclusion that I won't really get what I need from some rando. All I know is they tell me I'm depressed and have anxiety but do depressed people scratch their bodies on the reg, hit themselves to die, slam their head into doors, get overwhelmed with technology that become physically angry and destroy it? I'm sure that depressed people do some of those things hit I think my anger has something to do with my negative reactions. I'm just scared to let people know other my my boyfriend and mother.