Hi, i am sorry you have been going through so much.

It's my opinion that much of this behavior id due to a condition other than BP.

I cannot diagnose. However, I will say that you might want to look further into a "personality disorder."

I totally agree with the suggestion that you keep the children and yourself very safe and away from any kind of abuse. It sounds like there is, in the least, some verbal abuse and some emotional abuse. There is quite likely other types of abuse going on. (You might benefit from doing an internet search on abuse and the "Power Wheel," which explains various types of abuse.)

I hope all of you can soon live in a much more sane world, pronto!
It will take time to get things together, etc.

Best wishes to you and to Yours!