I don't believe you're a masochist, NotDeadYet, since you wrote that you don't actually enjoy feeling paranoid. It seems like you DO enjoy the shows themselves and that's quite normal in my opinion. They're MADE for being entertaining after all. However if you don't like your triggers perhaps it would be wise to stop watching them and try to watch something else instead. If you want to of course! The final decision is up to you. Just think about your decision, ok? Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, NotDeadYet, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!