You're going through SO MUCH, SorryShaped! I'm SO SORRY Please hang in there. I completely agree with Cornucopia's wise and wonderful words. You won't suffer for eternity. Things can and will get better at some point. I'm sure of that. Just try to do your best like you're already doing right now and take things day by day, step by step. I know it's hard to believe in a better future. It will come though. Hang in there. Let us know if we can do something to help. Even if it's just listening to what you have to say. We'll be here for you. You can count on us. I promise you that. Please DO NOT give up. You ARE IMPORTANT and you know that. It's hard to put up masks with others and I can ABSOLUTELY relate. Definitely call your Doctors or anyone else that may help you if you feel like it's getting too much for you. There's no shame in asking for help. ABSOLUTELY no shame. It isn't easy but you can do this. You're a strong person. I know you are. PLEASE hang in there. We'll be here for you. THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, SorryShaped, and to your family!