Saw my T and pdoc. To avoid possibly traumating me we are all working to keep me out of hospital. My pdoc wants me to email him daily with an update. Along with that I’m to take 50-100 mg of Seroquel and 4 mg Lorazepam a day. Hopefully this will short circuit the adrenaline rush after rush. I see them in a week.

This is an awful experience. I’m starting to slip. Hospital will make me feel trapped. Feeling trapped is at the core of my trauma. I want to live but find myself fantasising. I’m gonna break if this doesn’t work.