I hope some of you can relate somehow. I don't talk to my dad often, but every time I do I have this strange feeling after hanging up. Feelings of sorrow, feeling sorry for him, feeling like I'm a letdown to him etc.

We have had a rocky relationship, I lived with him throughout my teenage years and the last couple of years have been dramatic too because of my own personal problems going through some depressive episodes.

I wish I had more things to tell him. That I could be more up beat, have more positive news for him, or just any news. I feel like I'm a bit of a disappointment to him. I'm sure he wouldn't say that but that's still how I feel.

I don't like talking on the phone anyway. I don't think I come across in a good way. I'm much better with people in person.

Any of you had this? You can talk to them alright, and you're not mad at each other (anymore), but when you hang up there's a lingering feeling of... well, a lot of things. sadness, regret, letting him down, being a failure, "what could have been" and so on...

Maybe part of the answer to my sadness is our lack of real communication. We don't really know each other. We can talk about superficial things but don't get any deeper than that. We have a lot of history, things never talked through, swept under the carpet and never talked about again...


Anyway, I hope some of this makes sense.