Both my father, as well as my mother, have been gone now for many years. But my father & I never really talked about anything beyond the superficial. (Back in my day I doubt most fathers actually talked to their children.) We lived in different states once I was grown up. And there was no internet of any consequence, let alone smart phones. So the telephone was the only communications option.


I never enjoyed talking on the phone to my father (or my mother either for that matter.) It was just one of those things one feels like one has to do. I'm not even sure why I disliked talking to him. I just didn't. I guess, to be honest, I didn't particularly like him. And I'm quite certain he didn't like me, didn't understand me, & was disappointed in who I had turned out to be. (At least we had one thing we could agree on.) Sometimes I wonder if things could have been different if we could have had a real relationship. But we didn't. And that's that. It's too late to do anything about any of it now.