The way I see it, the best way to deal with ongoing invalidation from somebody is to stop seeking validation from them - rather than to try to get them to change. I know that's easier said than done. Yet if you can find a way to value your own feelings without having them validated, you have the power. Not the other person. Maybe your mom will progress and be able to meet some of your needs at some point, and maybe she won't. I just wouldn't let what she does hold you back since you have no control over her. Since you're an adult, you don't have to engage with her if you don't want to. Put yourself first.