Seesaw had some well articulated points. I really like how they responded and I agree that you do have worth.

One has to work to be treated well and unfortunately for some of us we need to work harder than others. I don't know why. I was in my early 40s before I felt at all valued. Interestingly this coincided with the period I first embraced life. I did a great deal of things and in the course of that found myself beginning to make a great deal of acquaintances. It all came easier to me.

You haven't mentioned the context of your situation outside of work (that sounds awfully difficult). My suggestion is that, if you haven't already, you find ways to keep yourself busy and explore new horizons. This could be physical activities, this could be hobbies. The more you do the more rounded you become - and your personality and character will become more positive as a result. More positivity about ourselves seems to attract people to us. it also improves how we feel about ourselves.

So too does becoming a contributor. I like that you volunteered at your church. These often can be sources of comradeship but sometimes it backfires. Still, you really put yourself out there. I suggest taking that energy and willingness to contribute and meet people and volunteer elsewhere. Remember though, as soon as it feels like a job you are overdoing it.

I point this out again and again and that is my recommendations to observe and observe. Are there people you admire? Are there people you see as being successful? What are they doing that makes them this way? Are you able to model your own behaviour accordingly? Look at the people who aren't doing so well with relationships work and social. What are they doing that makes it this way? Are you able to learn from this and tweak your own behaviour as a result?

I really hope that some positive change can come your way. You have my pat on the back of encouragement.