I think it’s perfectly fine question re how many applicants are there. I don’t see anything bad in there. Asking if a friend can give you pointers isn’t a big deal either. She didn’t say: I don’t think you’ll get this job or something like that. I don’t know your relationship with your mother but it sounds like she just says “mom” things.

I don’t know if she invalidates you in other occasions but I don’t see where she invalidated you in this conversation. Just a normal talk imho.

Now sometimes we get triggered by the random things and random things could get us anxious or upset. I’d say it’s normal. But it’s also not other people’s job to make sure we don’t get triggered or upset (unless we talk about repeatedly bringing up some seriously triggering topics after asked not to ).

If it becomes everyone else’s responsibility to manage how we feel then they have to walk on eggshells around us all the time thinking about what to say as not to upset you. You can’t expect that from people.