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Traveljunkie
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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Long Island city
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Default Jul 04, 2019 at 09:53 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Exactly.

There are some exceptions of course re being a confidant.

My husband has an old female friend, classmate from nursing school from years back before me and him met. They remain friends. She is married as well. When my mom was dying, she was on the phone with me helping with great advice (she is in a different branch of nursing than my hubs). We see them periodically, are going to visit them this summer as they live across the state etc Last time my husband went to visit them I didn’t go because I couldn’t get off work, he went to take something to them that her husband could use and we didn’t want in our house. I certainly am not jealous. So if she calls to talk once in a blue moon, I can’t care less if my husband talks to her or what about. They talk about their jobs usually that can get boring. They also ask each other professional advice. She is his friend, not mine, but I know her and her husband. There is nothing secretive or romantic there whatsoever. .

I think these type of scenarios are different from going to some random coworkers house. OP hasn’t met this person. Doesn’t know her. They aren’t old trusted friends. Personally if he considers this girl close friend or whatnot, I’d expect to meet her and I’d expect we both went to her house to help her out if she needed something. I’d not appreciate this secrecy.
it’s really just inappropriate. First, she shouldn’t even be asking him to come to her house in the first place. They work together, and she gets him clients but that’s as far as it should go. They go to different sites together and she drives him around in her car. He claims she is like his “sister” but he is really clueless. What kind of idea do you think your fellow colleagues will get? Then he will get defensive if anyone says anything. He doesn’t get that when you are just friends with someone there are some lines you should not cross and that includes running to her house just because she was desperate and told him during working hours that she needs him to come right now. I am going to have a long talk with him and if he can’t respect my boundaries, I’ll move on and be with someone who will. Then he wonders why his female friends start getting weird and almost controlling over him. It’s only a matter of time before it happens with this one. He was friends with his other colleague and she was telling him all her personal problems and then she started getting mean and he wonders why 🙄
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