hmmmm..... a. i thought we weren't allowed to do study type posts in the boards.
b. yes i agree that if we do not know why, then we can't stop it.
c. i agree with rap that a rapist (like off they street type of random violence) doesn't actually "love" the victim - that there is something else there causing it.
d. i think that in the case of abuse happening by a family member or friend, yeah it probably is (for them) as sense of "love" - though twisted.
e. for me... i felt that the reason my dad was like that with me was to prove to himself he wasn't gay. he hated all gay men (not women) with such a passion and sometimes pretended to be gay (that's how he did all his jokes - by hurting someone else), and i knew his sex life with my mom sucked (waaaay too much info for a kid, i tell ya)... so i think he was trying to prove to himself that he "could be good in bed" - even if it was with a 6-11 yr old. it was how he could reclaim his manliness. sick and twisted. he denies it to this day and i fear would kill me if i ever breathed a word. he's an ex-cop, and ex-marine and has to keep up the facade.