This brings back a lot of memories. I worked with a therapist for about 8 months before revealing that I was actually involved with a woman and living with her. My rationalization was that I was dealing with other things, and that the relationship was a good thing in my life. I never lied outright, but I was a master of omitting pronouns. When things started to go bad, I realized was actually keeping information from the therapist, so that she had an inaccurate picture of my life. Because I had kids and was divorcing a man, it seemed to be a surprise to her. I know I find the phrase, " I date woman." to be easier for me to say- and think the first time I came out to anyone it was because a man friend who I knew to be friends with many lesbians was feeling out the possibility of a relationship with me and I didn't want to hurt him or lie. I know I came up with a script and practiced a bit.

I believe that if you are going to keep working with a therapist, you need to know that she would support you on this. The last time I moved and consequently needed a new therapist, I laid everything out in the first session. For me, I see no sense spending money or time when I'm not giving her all the information. At the beginning though, I was where you are. .

I was in a very small online group for woman coming out " later in life" - carefully moderated, and founding very helpful.