What a beautiful, connection session. OMG, he was right there with me the entire time. Sigh.

We talked about my Easter experience with my family of origin yesterday and how I was able to hold onto myself through the day, a huge leap for me. Even though I am the middle of five I often feel very apart from my family.

T and I talked about the feelings that came up surrounding the absence of shared experience and linked it to my childhood loneliness.

I became anxious and began to feel as though I was floating away and I grounded myself.

I read a passage with to him from "Girl Interrupted," a book I just finished. It was a part that I really identified with and is directly related to my impulse to cut. As soon as I started to read, my voice cracked and I began to cry very softly. I gathered myself, recovered and finished reading. We discussed the passage. He really really understood where I was coming from. Finally, he said, "Miss, we have to stop." I frowned and he said, "I know...I know."

He complimented my ability to recognize when I was about to dissociate and how I grounded myself by reading to him. I gave him another book I've been reading about SI, so he could share that as well. I told him that the book was kind of clinical but it felt a lot like the work we have been doing. He said he looked forward to learning the labels the author applied to it!

I said, "I'm never stopping therapy." He said, "What I hear you say is that you like shared experience." Sigh.