whoa! I think I fully understand, and that many others here do too! You have to take care of yourself (no one else will) and don't let others force you to do things you really don't want to... (unless it's your T telling you to take your meds, go the ER etc ) Not shallow at all... this is a picture of a much larger issue for you... and not getting overwhelmed by placing yourself in a position you don't wish to be in the first place is good self care imo!