Would love to hear opinions on this. My husband had scheduled surgery. The week before, his mother called several times and said she wanted to come. She lives ~10 hours away driving. He asked her not to. She's pretty needy and a visit with her would be stressful.

Today she said she was flying in. He shouted at her and told her not to, from his hospital bed. She promised she would not.

She called a few minutes ago and we are pretty sure she is in town. She wanted to know visiting hours. She also was not responding to messages this afternoon.

Is that normal? A few of my friends who have adult children don't think it's that strange. I think it's really weird to disregard an adult child's request. He's over 40.