Quote:
Originally Posted by resurgam
if you don't tell someone they are doing something that irritates you then they will keep doing it.
how will they know otherwise?
how do you expect them to stop the behavior that is bothering YOU if you don't let them know it bothers YOU?
seems like the onus is really on YOU. can't fault them for actions until YOU let them know something is wrong. so basically it is a "poop or get off the pot" kind of scenario...yea their actions may upset you but if they don't know what they are doing upsets you, well then they get a free ride.
let them know your feelings. if they get mad, well so be it. people get upset about being told to change their behavior. do it nicely. they don't have to change and may not. in that case you have to decide..are they worth it as friends who annoy you or do you walk away.
make a decision about it & act...either way. or you are doomed to just be unhappy & complain.
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I understand where you're coming from. Yes I agree you should say something, but there are people out there that make it hard to say something to due to them easily flying off the handle and making accusations towards you and making it like you're the problem when all you did was politely ask them to stop doing whatever it is they are doing, even if it's something small. For example, years ago in college, I had asked someone who I thought was a friend to stop bailing out at the last minute. Wanted her to let me know sooner in advance rather than constantly at the last minute.
Basically I was just a friend out of boredom for her. Her reaction? She threw her phone against her dorm room wall and started screaming and saying that maybe she isn't a good friend then and saying I'm very paranoid. All I did was politely ask her and it resulted in an overreaction. She had other similar temper tantrums like that as well, not just that one time and not just with me, but with other people too. That's why sometimes I am reluctant to say something due to possible negative consequences. I've had other experiences like that with other people, but that was one of the more extreme cases. Basically I think to myself, if I speak up, will they go so mad that they may say things that aren't true or act like a child? That kind of stuff. Usually that means they aren't a good friend though. But I understand, there are times when you really do need to speak up.