I'm having a really bad morning. My inner critic is beating me up pretty badly. I didn't do well in my favorite game and I can't proceed. I spent a lot of money on that game. That game is my life. I have to do well. I've tried twice and I failed. I don't see how I can do it. I feel like a failure. I feel like everything I do is pointless.

Normally the game makes me happy. It's the only thing that gives me joy. Now it's giving me sorrow. I can't cope with it. I have no where else to go. I don't feel like painting or doing music. I tried to soothe myself this morning by talking to family but they didn't have time for me. One sister pretty much ignored me.

I thought if it makes me this unhappy then just quit. But then I am lost without my game. I feel like a very sick individual. There's not much I can do really. I'm housebound. It's not like I can take up rock climbing or anything. I'm trying to be compassionate with myself, but it's really hard.

Maybe I'm just ranting... thanks for listening.