Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleMirrors3
Yes!
I’m also skeptical that unmet developmental needs can truly be resolved with 50 minute a week therapy appointments, and all the inherent aspects of therapy that seem to torture clients (I.e withholding between session contact, perceived abandonment when time is up, therapist nondisclosure, monetary exchange, therapists compartmentalizing clients, power inequality, awareness of other clients, astuteness in identifying technique ...).
It would be great to hear more success stories in the attachment spectrum. There are quite a few positive therapy stories in this forum but few success stories from clients that struggled with attachment issues. Seems most are happy to come out unscathed or have endured significant emotional pain.
Perhaps it’s better to accept what never was and not look for anyone else to fill the chasm.
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I think, at least in part, because secure attachments in normal development do not occur by talking about it, people actually rarely dissect that sort of thing in normal everyday life. It is something that develops naturally between compatible, caring people and with appropriate attention but not because people discuss it. Just like with parents in early life, we don't develop secure attachments by talking about it endlessly and by enduring pain related to the lack. I always have the impression that most of the successes and satisfying improvements in that area happen when the therapy is more focused on tangible, everyday problems and emotional difficulties the client has and not so much on what's going on in therapy.
Also, it may not be very difficult to achieve a sense of healthy attachment for a client who does not have very severe issues in that area, does not get painfully obsessed and even self-destructive over the limited nature of therapy and attachment. Those are more likely to be success stories.