Wild Coyote, I'm so sorry this is happening and continues to go downhill. Your husband is doing all he can to watch you suffer and it makes me sad to think he would dishonor you so deeply after such a long and faithful marriage. I think it shows how dark of a place he has been in for a while and you were probably his only way of balancing that darkness for years. I imagine he finds it much harder to control now that you've separated and he is taking it out on you.

I think you are amazingly strong even though your body is rebelling. You are processing so much negativity and it takes a toll. I'm sorry the meds are making you gain weight on top of everything else. That's just plain unfair.

I know it is hard, but try to remember to put things aside from time to time to focus on self care. Yoga, meditation, a relaxing bath, a healthy meal, a long walk in nature, paint your toenails, whatever. Just try to do things that are restorative since he has taken so much away from you. Nobody else is going to build you back up. Its on you, and that stinks but you have an opportunity to grow and see just how amazing you can be free of his negativity. I feel there are much brighter times on the horizon for you and you just have to hold on during this difficult period. Blessings for peace and better days to come.