I'd say they definitely bring a change but I don't think it has to be permanent. Of course every person is different. In your case it's like that your body and brain got so used to the Meds that without them it has been harder for you to feel stable. That's just my opinion anyway. I believe it is possible to be stable even without Meds but it requires work in therapy. I'm not sure if you're already seeing a therapist right now but if you aren't perhaps you may consider it. The goal of therapy should be to give you the tools to work with yourself; Meds can help but they're not the only solution in my opinion. I hope you'll get better soon! Keep working on yourself like you're already WONDERFULLY doing. I also agree with Ezrigirl's wise advice. Perhaps you can try to buy a punching bag and use that to vent your anger. Perhaps you may even do some physical exercises. Just some ideas for you. You don't have to accept them. We ALL wish you plenty of peace and hope for you. Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, bluebicycle, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you!