Extroversion, social skills, and circumstance all lead to popularity. I don't believe you can have popularity without all three combined.

Some of these you do have control over: that of social skills and circumstance.

Circumstances includes having things in common with those you wish to be friendly with. Without common experiences, likes, and dislikes, you just aren't going to connect. So, like social skills, one needs to learn what interests and motivates others in order to converse successfully. You can learn and gain similar experiences. You can learn common interests and form opinions with which your can hold conversations about. Even an opposite opinion to others is something to converse about. I hate to say it, but appearances play a big part in circumstance. Frankly speaking you need to look the part. That means being presentable in somewhat current acceptable fashion. Having a 'out there' or 'different' appearance in my own experience can push people away from you. You then need to not only fit in when it comes to speaking but fit in with appearance too. Does any of this ring a bell or true to you?

Social Skills and Communication: these can be learnt. As I always say, observe, Observe, OBSERVE. What makes other people successful where you are not? What manners of communication do they possess; in particular, non-verbal like body language. Now observe what isn't working for you.

As for extroversion, you either are or aren't. However, you can mask introversion with effort. I myself am actually quite introverted but I wear a mask of extroversion. You might say it is a defensive action for me. For, if I present myself as confident people won't treat me with ill will or even bully me. So I make an effort. It helps to use people's names as soon as you can. I start off conversations then with forcing myself to introduce myself and get that name from the other. It breaks the ice and I think puts everyone else at ease. Then comes the conversation which hopefully, as I have worked at it, I can carry myself through. Being a talker is far more attractive to someone than being with someone who isn't.

I say you need to take the bull by the horns and be an active participant in that which is going on.