Oh hun, This breaks my heart knowing all he’s done and still is doing.
I have re read what you wrote 3 times and what I’m seeing in you is a strong woman that unfortunately wound up with a total shyt human being, you are NOT at fault for any despicable thing he has chosen to do.
You have unbelievable strength and although this is going to likely be a long nasty battle you will handle it all.
I’m here for you always
Love you