I do question my diagnosis. I have only ever had one episode. It was manic and psychotic. I've never been depressed. The same thing happened to my mother about 20 years ago. She suffered a major break and was manic for about a week before the heavy psychosis set in. She had also never been depressed. The doctors diagnosed her as bipolar because of the mania, but she's never had another episode since the first one. So far, I've been stable as well. It has been 8 months since my episode and my mood is neither manic or depressed.

Because of the mania, I was also diagnosed as bipolar like my mother. However, my doctors and my therapist have all now said I am atypical and they aren't sure what to diagnose me with if anything. My doctor said that all she can say for sure is that I experienced brief reactive psychosis. She thinks the cause was perhaps hormonal or adrenal. I don't know what to think. I wish I had answers.

I manage myself day to day as if I am bipolar. It feels like the safest way to avoid a relapse as severe as my first episode. My doctor said the cognitive behavioral therapy and the lifestyle changes I have made will serve me well no matter what caused my break.

There is talk of taking me off the antipsychotic I'm currently on. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I do not like ingesting even Tylenol, so taking meds every day has been hard on me. The thought of living without meds sounds great for my body. I'm scared though that the meds are what has kept me stable and I am fearful my family will have to suffer again if I am taken off them and it kicks me back into mania. I'm hopeful though that the coping skills I have learned will help me recognize what is happening sooner should I ever relapse again.

I stick around here because I relate to so much of what is posted. Thanks to you all for letting me tag along while I try to figure out what's truly going on with me.