Oooh, I am going to google that bacteria thing! I've been thinking about this more and don't think I'll come to any conclusions. There's a lot at play. Social skills, the group dynamic, introversion vs. extroversion - it all plays a part. Wishful, what you posted about masking introversion is what I do - I think. I know I am an introvert but I also love talking to other people. I dread social encounters but have fun anyway. I do tend to be quiet around people I don't know and find that makes me popular because people who like to talk glom onto me

When I made the post, I was unhappy about a specific incident where someone got invited to something and someone else was excluded. The person who was invited was introduced to the group by the person who was excluded which just makes it so much worse. I just don't get it - the excluded person has been saying all the right things, being friendly, actively participating etc - but they are still excluded and not accepted into this particular group. I just can't see what the individual is doing wrong. It's most likely a combination of age and gender, I suppose.