Just got home from the hospital. I'm just sobbing my heart out. I wish I was bringing him home, as the doctors said I could earlier today. But I don't believe I can cope. So I'm getting him sent to a nursing home, just temporarily at this point. But he's so frail. I'm so worried this will push him over the edge, and something could happen to him and I might not even be there. My heart is breaking.

The apartment is a mess. I'm all disorganized. It's the depression. I got depressed and started to neglect things. So I have messes to straighten out. I created them by neglecting things when I've been depressed. I don't even take care of my teeth properly. Too much time in bed lying around, wasting time.

I have to do better. I think today I made the decisions I had to make given where I am now. It's no good thinking what I should have done. Now is now. I have to figure what I can do now.