Hmmm...

There are people who have experienced horrible abuse, atrocities, denial of their basic needs, domineering and controlling caretakers, constant criticism and humiliation, etc, who never become abusers.

So my question is, what is the difference between those people and the ones who do become abusers? Why do some people continue the cycle? And why are others able to overcome their inclinations, or never have them to begin with?

That's what I struggle with. I can't imagine treating another the way I was treated. Am I mad at my abusers? Absolutely! Do I feel enraged, lost, humiliated, worthless, confused? Absolutely! Have I ever considered taking my power back by asserting my control over someone else? Never.

So basically, I guess I just will never understand the force that compels someone to abuse. Most of the time, I don't care to understand. Maybe one would have to be/have been an abuser to really understand. At any rate, none of those answers are going to heal me.