I had a horrible night last night. Yesterday I was bored so I slept literally all day (from 9:30 until 3:45). So of course I couldn’t sleep at night. Then when I finally fell asleep around 12:30a I had a horrible nightmare that RS was in bed with me having a seizure right next to me. It seemed so real that I grabbed him and accidentally punched him to wake him out of the seizure. Then I woke all the way up and realized he was ok but my heart was racing and I couldn’t go back to sleep. He rubbed my arm for a few minutes until I relaxed my grip on him and then went back to sleep. I finally fell asleep again but it was not a good sleep, lots of tossing and turning. Plus I had drank so much water that I had to get up like five times to use the bathroom. So an all around horrible night.

So instead of sleeping today (even though I’m dead tired) I’m going to clean and then go down to my sister in law’s house and have lunch with her. That way hopefully I get some good sleep tonight. We are going to the water park tomorrow so I want to be fresh and awake. I’m going to make sure to wear lots of sunscreen so I don’t get horribly burned like I did at the beach. Don’t want another infection! That was awful.

I considered applying for a general education teaching job but I don’t think I will. I won’t be happy in general education. I just want to make more money. I won’t graduate from my master’s program until December of 2020. So I’ll have to be poor until then. That upsets me. But I did it in college so I guess I can do it now.

This is day four with no smoking and I’m chugging along. Some cravings yesterday but I talked myself out of them.