I took a full year away from the dating scene. A year ago I had to walk away from my Narcissistic Functioning Alcoholic girlfriend. I needed the time to heal.
Brings me to my first date! She’s lovely, we connect, there is super vulnerability, the chemistry is there!
Three weeks in we go out and she breaks not so great news for me. She says I need you to listen... she goes on... “ I know I told you I cheated in my marriage, what I didn’t say is that it was with my boss. She is still my boss, still active in my life ( I see here everyday all day, she’ll go to my daughters softball games and we go out for drinks on occasion. My ex wife has no clue I cheated.”
I said is this still a thing??? She’s like no not really, but I cannot discount that I won’t sleep with her again. We are on friend terms now, but can’t say that won’t ever happen again. Says the odds are so low. Says this woman will not leave her husband or side piece for me. “
I asked well what if we get serious... and she says she would, she’s like ultimately I would go with her. She’s like but understand this “ I LIKE YOU A LOT, and I’m very introverted and I RARELY like anyone.”
I ended up ending it with her. She contacted me a week later seeing if I’d change my mind to see if I’d still date her and see where it goes. Ultimately I said No that we could be friends. She said okay. I’m at a loss here. My mind is saying she’s great and senses a huge connection and yes we had sex, against my better judgment. It was probably the most passionate and intimate experience I’ve ever had. I’m so lost. I know my brain is like RUN!!! But my heart hurts daily. I don’t even know how she cd be on a dating site knowing she has this type of feelings for her boss. She calls her boss her twin flame. I call her boss manipulating and abuse of power. I’m so sad... if she wd of told me in the very beginning I wd of never went any further. Help. What do I do? How can I make my heart understand what my brain does?