I'm wondering if this is more about your own social insecurities as compared to his ease and outgoing personality socially. What is simply chatting and laughing and being friendly with his friends to him comes off to you as flirting, but it may not be flirting at all, at least not at any conscious level. It may just be extroverted friendliness, something you aren't personally comfortable doing. It's also quite possible women might flirt with him whether or not he does so himself.

1. Is he faithful and respectful to you in your marriage? (I don't know the background). Or is there a pattern of disrespect and thus your doubts about his intentions?

2. When you discuss this again, you need to focus on YOUR reaction to seeing behaviors that you perceive as flirting. If you just accuse him of flirting, particularly if that really isn't what he is doing, you are going to hit a brick wall.

3. What specific behaviors do you interpret as flirting? Can you describe what you are interpreting as flirting to him in such a way as to not be accusatory, but rather, focus on your perception? Some of this may be your own social insecurities since you describe yourself as introverted. You married an extroverted, social being. At some point you have to learn to love that extrovert and accept his personality will not be the same as yours, nor can you force him to ignore people which would go against his personality. His comfortableness with people, including women, does not necessarily mean he is being in any way unfaithful to you, and it is important to understand the distinction.

Reciprocally, IF you can have a conversation about your OWN discomfort with certain situations, perhaps he can become somewhat more cognizant of those situations and tone it down a bit. Consider asking him to consider what is going on and monitor those situations a bit on his end. If it is women flirting with him, he may be clueless (some men just are) or it simply doesn't bother him because he has his own way of just getting through the social situation without hanging on to it (the way you do because your personality is different from his).

Remember though, when you get married, you don't give up your "self" to become one; that's all hokey, unrealistic, marriage folklore. To expect a spouse to change their own personality to fit your own personality (his yours or yours his), isn't going to happen. Part of being married is finding some give and take (on both sides) and learning to communicate your own feelings without resorting to blaming and shaming and demanding.

It's work.

My husband is extremely good looking, always kind, and pretty socially at ease. Women have always flirted with him. Personally, I just tease him about it because I have no concern that he would ever actually act on any of their flirtations. He's pretty open with me about those women and just kind of rolls his eyes about it. My husband claims men flirt with me a great deal. I think I'm one of those clueless people who doesn't actually see it happening; it's like I don't have a flirting radar. LOL! So I just roll my eyes at my husband when he mentions it. He finds it rather amusing actually. The point is, neither of us get bent out of shape about flirting, real or perceived, because the bottom line is we are very secure about "us".