My heart goes out to you Rose. I am a carer for my 87 year old mother. She has multiple health problems, including a benign brain tumour that she is about to start radiotherapy for. Thankfully she is compos mentis, just quite frail. I never married or had children, I am an only child and the small family I have is thousands of miles away, and we've met twice in 50+ years. I used to have a FT job, six figures, lots of travel and responsibility, now I am on the UK equivalent of welfare, living on savings and actively planning my death. I've been depressed for so long I don't know what normal is like. I have no suggestions for you, just sending you love and warmth and understanding from England. God bless you.