I am so sorry friends but tonight I'm having it all. I had to babysit my sons 3 children today and it's hard when you're depressed to stay w/three wild kids. I am so tired and cold. It is suppose to get down to 33 degrees tonight. I hate it. I hate everything, I'm flying so high right now, I feel like I'm in a rage. My daughter -in-law had to go to the ER because of a hernia. They sent her home w/pain pills. I told my son in secret to please don't let her getaddicted again. He got mad and said he didn't want to hear it. We had a terrible argument over it the last time and he said some terrible things to me and didn't speak to me for a month. i finally gave in and reached out to try and resolve the matter. Today is the 1st day I have stayed w/the kids since then. He drove my car and I (offered)but I have only one-eight of a tank and I have to go back to Greenville tomorrow to see my T. I'm out of money and my check doesn't come in until Wed. I'm eating weiners w/out the bun and cans of veggies. I've done it before so, then I get upset because I'm complaing about what I'm eating and there are starving children in this country, how dare I! I just want to tear up my apt. It needs cleaning but all I want to do is sleep and eat. My Mom is having health problems, i'm crazy and depressed and I feel like I am lashing out at everyone. I'm so sorry, I just don't how much more I can take. I so much want a happy life. I take care of everyone else except for me. When I cry I just want someone to hug me and say it's ok. You know, a human touch, maybe a small kiss or a pat on the arm, just to feel the warmth of another person not a cold apt that I have to clean or put gas in the car. I do get happy going to the grocery store just to buy ice cream and a pack of cookies. I'll eat it then cry because I ate the whole thing. I'm a little calmer now that I let out my emotions so I'm going back to the couch and watch some tv. thanks for listening, I love you all..........pj56