I was diagnosed Bipolar 32 years ago after my first mania that occurred in the Marines in 1987. I was told I could stay in or get out with a medical discharge. I chose the discharge which was honorable and was put on a temporary disability retirement list rated at 30% disability for many years ,about 20. During this time I I worked in psychiatric hospitals and held positions such as behavior specialist, psych tech , psych associate, mental health worker , counselor , case manager, etc. and during all these years I also achieved 2 degrees with honors. The thing is though I have bipolar 1 with a seasonal pattern. This makes consistency impossible. I would work hard for most of the year and succeed very well but then I’d have a 3 month severe depression in the fall/ early winter or a manic episode in-the spring . No employer I had would accept my being out of work months at a time so I changed positions and psych hospitals about every year. In college I would drop classes in the fall/ early winter and ace classes many times without having to take the final. Finally 10 years ago my condition became a lot worse. I was determined to be 100% disabled by the military and social security. Then after 9 years this last fall they made me totally and permanently disabled. Now I’m starting to do better and want to achieve great things but I know from experience I cannot be consistent so how can I ever realize my hopes and dreams or is it over for me?