NOTE: MAY BE AN UNPOPULAR OPINION

I think that there is something really missing here. Why do you feel the need to understand what happened ---- is this not an intellectual defense mechanism to remove yourself from feeling the pain of what occurred? NO matter how you try to rationalize human behavior, there is no true rationalization. People are cruel. Studies after studies have found no real clear associations about human behavior. Look at all the prison programs geared towards offenders....people try and understand what they did, therapists work with them, but the recividism rate is like 90%.

Truth of the matter is, that many people especially those abused by family members may never have this answer. And is it fair to ask children of abusers to answer this question? No, I don't think so. I think what is important is recognizing that most abusers MADE a choice in their actions, who cares why? They commited a crime and should pay for their choices.

By "thinking about their actions," we are in essence giving them a way out. And if you ask most of them, they did not think about their actions, just what they would get from their behaviors.

The recividism rate is SO high among these people, that they deserve no thought or excuses for their behavior. They deserve to be punished for their crimes, no given excuses.