I was experiencing hypomania for weeks, turned manic and after a couple days I also got in a psychotic state of mind. I do remember more than I appreciate. (Most doctors were a bit surprised about that. For me not so much- it feels like different personalities- and during that manic episode I somehow got all the memories. Like the stable version got entangled with the unstable versions memories. It’s a long story )
Ended up in psych ward, against my will. Spent a week there, not talking to anyone (I refused) while I repaired myself in solitude.
I didn’t do much- most things was in solitude, I went into hibernation. Of course- eventually it leaked into reality and no one was able to understand my rambling words and bits and pieces of the inner chaos materializing on the outside.


Are you aware you are having an episode? And when do you get so far you don’t see it anymore?
If you are not having that severe experiences: do you feel guilty for not controling the illness even better?
(I do, I know it’s not my fault. Still feel guilty)