UpDownMiddleGround, I'm sorry you're feeling so unwell. Most all of us know how that is.

It is tough when people truly don't understand mood disorder issues. "Making yourself" appear in a way that you don't feel can be torture, or even impossible. I imagine we have all tried feigning wellness plenty of times. I understand wishing your mom would not expect that. It would be good for her to learn a bit more about what you go through. Education is key. Being depressed, hypomanic/manic, mixed, anxious, irritable from bipolar disorder is often beyond our control. We are not sinful or "doing wrong" when we feel ill anymore than a person is if they have seizures or the flu.

A lot of us here have definitely had periods when we weren't perfect (or even far from) with self-care. You sound like you're doing better than me. I have to commend you that you have even been able to get to work feeling so unwell. But even if you couldn't there's nothing wrong with that, either. If you are ill, you're ill. Something shows. I think sometimes when it doesn't it's even more dangerous. I'm glad to read that you were in contact with your psychiatrist and have a medication adjustment. I really hope that the Latuda change will start to help quickly. I take a very small amount of Latuda and even that has made some positive difference in my life.