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Originally Posted by divine1966
You can tactfully tell her that weekly hang outs just aren’t possible. Suggest to see her in few weeks and make interactions less lengthy. You can maintain friendship with less frequent interactions. Also suggest doing something together rather than just sitting on a coach.
I also think it’s ok to do some white lies if you don’t want to hurt her. Tell her you are busy and will see her next week or whenever you want to see her. You don’t need to be always free for her
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
I've had friends like this (and been that friend). Have you tried changing the topic before she gets on a roll with her rants? That technique has sort of worked for me with one friend who can't stop complaining, but if I don't catch it in time, there's no stopping him.
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Yeah, I know how to redirect conversations and white lie my way out of situations. I'm pretty good at the game, and I even enjoy it most of the time. However, if we're going to live in the same house, I'll need to set up strong, healthy boundaries and make my intentions clear.
Also, let me clarify on the psychopath thing. I know the psychopathic way of establishing and defending boundaries, but I'm trying not to be manipulative or blatantly mean. Rather, I'm asking how a normal person would establish healthy boundaries in a way that doesn't destroy the relationship. If I want to live with someone, I need to learn healthy boundaries, which includes defending my own boundaries in a healthy way. I don't handle it well when other people try to manipulate me or overstep my boundaries.