Had my interview thing... my coach thinks it went well. Everyone I talk to is saying (they even hinted it) that I would get it and get called in for the second meeting.... But I've failed so many times, heard that some story before... And it always ended with "we picked someone else, thanks"

I should be positive, but it's so hard after so many years of no's.....I just don't think I'm good enough.

I was so nervous, I was talking to the table most of the time, shaking.... I didn't take any pills in preparation, I always do this and I am sitting at 0/150 or so because of that. I guess I'll find out sometime next week, just gotta get my head out of this negative mess.

I'm always like this about just about everything and I can't stop it... I can't be happy for myself or be positive....

This is a running thing with me... Oh well, maybe getting this(?) will break that? That would be cool.