Here it goes, I'm going ****ing crazy. I've said that a lot, but now, now I mean it. I haven't been this bad for a while now but my hallucinations and daydreams are melting into reality so much (and well) that I'm struggling to distinguish what's actually happening around me.

My sister's wedding is in five hours and I don't know how I'm going to get through this. My brain seems to be malfunctioning at every stressor coming my way. My gf, god I love her, talked her boss into giving her the afternoon off so she could go with me. This way, no matter what I have her there to help keep me together. I don't know how well I'm going to do at this thing.

Even as I'm writing this, I'm really unsure of whether or not it's real. Kinda why I'm posting it, actually, figure that way I'll know for sure later if my brain clears up. ****, I'm so confused. Is there a 8" man on my balcony waving at me? I doubt it, but he won't leave no matter how much I tell myself that's ridiculous. Especially since he's obviously based off an add on a billboard. Do I believe everything I see and hear, hell no, but some of it's real and that's when it sucks. I just keep coming off as an asshole to people around me and I hate it. This wedding's gonna be a *****.

Wish me luck.