thanx to the people that replied my first post.
i really need you guys right now, SERIOUSLY!!
I CANT BELIEVE I FOUND THIS PLACE.. reading stuff about people that UNDERSTAND what im going though, makes me feel somehow "fine", and knowing that I'm not alone, struggling with this everyday makes me feel much better.
i read every post, EVERYDAY to make myself wanna keep battleling against this.

big hugs and good luck with it too.