First discussed work quickly, slowly starting to feel a bit more secure there.
Then briefly talked about one of my friends and me fearing he might not talk to me anymore. That led to me mentioning another friend who had texted me for the first time in months. I was a bit annoyed with that guy, since he suddenly decided to vanish and now just wants to go back to normal talking, but at the same time doesn't really manage to hold a conversation. T remembered that this friend had started dating someone and then more or less stopped talking to me. T suggested he might have trouble with his girlfriend and laughed slightly.

We discussed that I was being rather harsh with the friend. T tried to explain why he might have texted me and why he might not want to talk after all. He tried to convince me that it doesn't mean my friend shouldn't have texted me at all and that instead of being angry I could also be happy about the fact that he thought of me.
While I get what my T was trying to say, I couldn't really relate with my feelings.

We had a bit of silence, T asked what I was thinking about. I mentioned missing him a lot and said that I'm really fond of him/like him.
He asked what I think a T should do when a client says something like that. I answered 'talk about it' and he said that's a good start. He went on to say that we couldn't have a romantic relationship, to which I replied that I'm not in love with him. T said he knew, that I'd told him multiple times before and that he'd be too old for that anyways.
Then he said that he gets the impression that now that we've known each other for a while, he feels more secure with me. He said he remembers how his wife initially told him I'd contact him. That his first thought was 'she's a woman, for sure she'll just want to see another woman'. We both laughed about that. He said now he feels like he can manage working with me better, that he knows that I often don't look at him, that it makes him happy and proud when I do. And that sometimes early on he wasn't sure whether I could calm myself down or whether I'd completely lose it, which he now knows a bit.
He added that he'd been looking forward to our session today. Even though it's hard sometimes, for both of us.

He asked me what I thought. I told him that I trust him a lot more than early on. Especially that I don't feel like he'll abandon me just like that. That he'd tell me and we could discuss it and all. He told me it's good that I feel that way. That if he would have to ever stop working, he'd try to tell me months in advance.


I said that if something like that were to ever happen, I'd try to think of what he'd tell me to do, what he'd think is a good next step. He told me that that's kind of our goal, that I can imagine what he'd say and that helps.
At some point he also mentioned he'd be gone for two weeks soon.

Was an overall good session, though I'm slightly worried about him being gone for two weeks.