Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017
Yes you have good points here, without getting into too much personally here, the guy friend, has been open with me and virtually everyone on his FB about his struggles with drinking. He goes to therapy etc, he's been very open and personal about it all with me, so that's why I feel like it's "ok to be open" and not limit it as much as I normally would BUT I could just generally say it and then ask if he has questions and go from there on what my comfort level is. So yes, good idea
|
Does he still have a drinking problem or struggles staying away from it, or it's just something he had in the past? In any case, I personally would be a bit wary of someone who puts that sort of thing all over on FB, publicly. But maybe it's just me since I also had a drinking problem in the past and I know how it seriously messed up my otherwise pretty solid boundaries. I know as fact that I am far from the only one. If someone openly uses their addiction issues to advocate for recovery or to help others, that can be fine if they are not afraid of compromising themselves... but just for the sake of it? I don't know. Your long-term T also wasn't exactly famous for having good boundaries... do you find yourself being drawn to people like that somehow (a bit push/pull like you)? If so, perhaps that's something to think about as a potential source of hurts and negative experiences?
The other impression I get is that you may have this pattern with men because you actually deprive yourself from having relationships with them that you probably crave deep down. I think it is pretty unlikely to go away if you continue doing that forever. I wrote a post on your attachment in therapy thread this morning - might be relevant here.